So, I have to share the story of my morning with you, and I ask that you all bear with me as I do…
After two weeks of illness running through our house, I am finally starting to feel like I’m getting better. So I was excited to get back to the gym today. I got my gym clothes on, sat my boys down at the table for breakfast, and decided to make myself a healthy smoothie. As I opened a high cabinet to get the blender parts out, the blender pitcher came flying out, hit me on the leg, and smashed into our hard tile floor. Glass went everywhere. I just stood there on the footstool for a second. And so began my morning.
I spent the next hour trying to clean up glass off the floor (with a Melissa and Doug dustpan, nonetheless) while also ensuring a three-year-old and crawling baby were contained in another room. My three-year-old asked several times what I was doing and why he couldn’t walk around the kitchen, and I am ashamed to say, I snapped at him after the questions continued over and over. I never managed to eat breakfast and basically felt like a terrible mom by the time we left for school. I succeeded in keeping everyone out of the kitchen, but the baby did manage to eat one of his books and got hold of a DVD, as well.
Things have felt rather chaotic at our house recently, and this morning just took the chaos up a notch. I still need to do another scan of the floor for glass, as I am currently hiding out at a coffee shop and finally eating breakfast. I have not been to the gym yet, but figured going on an empty stomach wasn’t the best plan.
At one point during the blender disaster, I messaged my husband to tell him that our Cuisine Art was no more. His response: “Is everyone ok?” Dear God. In my haste to clean up and manage my boys, I had not even thought about the fact that one of them could have been right next to me when I dropped the blender pitcher. One of them could have been hit with FLYING GLASS. I assured my husband that everyone was fine – and also had a sudden perspective shift. I’m not going to say I was all smiles after that, but I certainly realized that the broken glass wasn’t as big of a deal as I made it out to be. Any day we stay out of the emergency room is a good day.
We got out the door about an hour late and I was ok with that. I thanked my older son for helping with his brother, and even stopped on the way to school to let him see a construction site where they were digging holes with not one, but two, excavators. He was VERY happy.
If you have stayed around this long, thank you. You see, I have really felt lately like I am not mastering this whole parenting gig. If I got a performance review for my efforts, my unseen boss would be telling me that I ‘need to make improvements.’ I have been focusing on the negative aspects of each day, and not seeing the things I have done right. You know, like keeping my kids alive. I have had some not so proud moments, and am not happy with myself for snapping in my panicked mode this morning. But I am doing the best I can. And that’s all I can do.
Ironically, I started reading a book over the weekend called May Cause Miracles. It provides day-by-day teachings, and today is day 1. On the first page of today’s reading, “Your goal today is to be the witness of your thoughts, actions, and energy.” I’m pretty sure the book is going to ask me to make a perspective shift of great proportions. And I think it’s probably perfect timing. Day 4 (oddly enough, I’ll be reading that day on Thanksgiving) is titled “Gratitude is the Attitude.” Yep, this lady is talking to me RIGHT NOW! I’ll keep you posted on what I think of the book once I’m a bit further into it.
In the meantime, if you are having a rough day (or week) like I am, go easy on yourself. And try to make even a minor perspective shift in order to see the positive in crappy situations (the blender is done for, but my kiddos did not shed any blood during its sacrifice). Also, if you are having trouble seeing the positive, or are just struggling in general, know that I am sending you a virtual hug. Feel free to email me and let me know about it, as well. Maybe just venting a bit will help you feel better. I know sometimes a little venting and a perspective shift are all I need.
Hang in there, Mama!