It’s Tuesday and it feels like one of those weeks already. I have horrible indigestion and nausea has suddenly returned (I’m 5 months pregnant), causing me to want to call in sick. But I can’t, due to being enrolled (involuntarily, I might add) in a week-long training course for work. We returned from vacation two weeks ago and there are still suitcases on the bedroom floor, which my husband reminded me still have clothes in them. I think it was meant as a helpful comment, but I took it as, “Really, you haven’t unpacked your stuff yet?” My child is currently crying for me from his bed – it’s almost 9:30 p.m. – and making me feel just a bit worse in general. Oh, and I am recovering from a minor medical procedure which requires a specific type of gauze and tape to be properly bandaged each day and I just realized we are out of gauze. I’d try digging in the first aid kit to see if there is anymore, but it is in a location precariously close to my son’s room (and he has finally quieted down).
A friend recently mentioned that she constantly suffers from that feeling of overwhelm, of always having something else that needs to be done, of always needing to move on to the next thing. And I can totally relate. As someone who likes to stay busy, I thought life could be hectic even before I had a child. But it was a hectic of my own choosing, my own making – and of course it still is. I chose to be a parent, a job I love, but one which can suck the life out of me. Especially on days like today. It’s days like this that I have to savor the small moments, like the five minutes prior to meltdown, when my son cuddled with me and even let me help him feel the baby kick.
I guess the difference now is that, even though I chose this, I don’t, and can’t, control when the hectic-ness occurs. Or even if there is an end in sight. I don’t get to take a time-out, or a break for a day. And that can be completely overwhelming, even two years into this thing called parenthood. I am, believe it or not, trying to take time for myself, though. Thanks to another wise friend, I am currently reading The Fringe Hours (but not tonight – this day has offered enough to wear me out). I’ll provide an update when I’ve finished it, but so far, I am really enjoying it. It is geared toward moms, many of whom spend the majority of their time attending to the needs of everyone else – while neglecting themselves. It encourages us to use time (since we can’t really ‘make time’) for ourselves, arguing that this is necessary for our own wellbeing. I can’t argue with that.
Have you recently felt overwhelmed? What do you do to cope?
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