Why I’m Not the Perfect Mom

We’ve all seen that mom. You know, the one who always seems to be put together. The one who actually does her make-up every day, appears to be working out regularly and whose kids look relatively well-dressed and possibly even well-behaved. I always wonder… does she just do a great job of appearing all together, or is she really that way? Does she yell at her husband behind closed doors? Does she have a baby next to her in the bathroom screaming to be picked up while she applies mascara? Or is everything in her life seamless? While I certainly know the answers to these questions, the insecure side of me can take hold and I wonder what I am doing wrong.

I think we have all heard someone dub a friend with the title of ‘the perfect mom.’ And often, this title is associated with that mom who makes it all look so easy, who does a great job of making it effortless. I realize that a child has thrown up on her, too, maybe even as she was curling her hair. Perhaps she is more poised or better at filtering what information she shares. Perhaps she’s got a handle on her public-facing persona, knowing just what photos to post and how to make herself always look good. She even has somehow located outfits that look great, don’t wrinkle and hide every stain should her child spit up or wipe their hands on her out in public. But you know what, all that effort sounds exhausting to me. Appearances aside, we are all just doing the best we can – even the mom who looks so good while moming through life. As for me, I am sporting leggings, yoga pants or gym shorts whenever I am at home (and sometimes when I am out).

With me, what you see if what you get. I am a few pounds overweight, and I use my belly to help hold the baby up (it’s much harder to balance a child on your hip if you are too skinny). I rarely wear make-up, because I simply don’t have the time. But when I do, people notice and tell me how nice I look (bonus!).

And to that perfect-looking, Stepford-esque mom, I’d just like to say – no hard feelings. I know you have your struggles, too. And I realize your life isn’t perfect. Maybe, just maybe, you will one day trust me enough to let me in. Maybe you will allow me to see you without the make-up, and maybe you will know it’s ok to share your struggles, too. You aren’t making yourself seem weaker by doing so; you are becoming a little bit stronger by leaning on the mama tribe around you. And you can breathe a sigh of relief in knowing that we are all perfectly imperfect – whether we did our hair today or not.